


a place off ocean avenue

by actuallyshua



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Beaches, Dialogue Heavy, Disability, Disabled Character, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mild Angst, Surfing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25854760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyshua/pseuds/actuallyshua
Summary: “How can I ever thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me? For everything that you will do for me?”Sunwoo smiled at this, light refilling his eyes in the most beautiful way. The sight in front of Chanhee far outshined the ocean that was raging at his back, outdid any sunset they had ever sat and watched. Sunwoo kissed his palm, soft and sweet.“Just stay.”Or -Chanhee and Sunwoo remember that their love is like the ocean. Deep and everlasting.
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Sunwoo, Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Lee Sangyeon, Lee Juyeon/Son Youngjae | Eric
Comments: 22
Kudos: 133





	a place off ocean avenue

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thanks for clicking on my little fic here. it's kind of my baby so to let her out into the world...SCARY! i went on a bit of a twitter rant earlier about writing disabled characters and how it doesn't have to be All Bad. and while there are parts of this fic that showcase how painful this part of life can be, it's also beautiful and hopeful. disabled people don't exist in stories just to fuel angst and sadness. i guess, as a very disabled person myself, i just wanted to see someone like me being happy and in love. so. 
> 
> OKAY. enough from me!
> 
> i really hope you enjoy ~

There was something so magical about the beach.

Chanhee always thought that. Ever since he was little. He could never really put his finger on the exact thing that made his heart race whenever the ocean came into his sights. Maybe it was the way the salt would stick to his skin, a feeling most found uncomfortable but Chanhee found delightful. Or the secrets that the distant horizon held, a deep blue of creatures and caverns Chanhee could only dream about seeing.

He used to walk the sand alone. Collecting shells and rocks and sea glass to bring to his dingy apartment, touching them on days when he wasn’t able to feel the sand between his toes. When the pain would be too strong and he would be left in his bed, Sangyeon tending to him every few hours, he would hold the sea rocks close to his heart.

Feel their heart beat against his own.

But, he supposed, maybe he loved the ocean so much because it brought love into his life.

On a hot August day, he remembered the smell of seaweed burning his nostrils. The tide was high and the waves were crashing so loudly that the noise was drowning out his thoughts. He was watching the surfers, smiling as they would whoop and holler after catching the perfect swell.

His eyes were fixated on a bright green surfboard, a boy who looked about his age as much as Chanhee could make out, who had been out in the water for the better part of an hour. Chanhee was never much of a surfer, Haknyeon had tried to get him into it once but he much preferred the view from the sand.

Chanhee was a watcher, an observer. It was all his body allowed on most days.

His eyes trained on the green again, dipping under waves before finally turning around to catch a large swell coming towards them. He’d never forget the way his heart picked up the pace. The wave was too big, too fast, even he could see that.

Chanhee tried to be quick on his feet, his cane clumsy against the thick sand, and he stood to see the head of red hair pop up from the frothy break.

It didn’t. Not for far too long.

With his breath catching, Chanhee made his way towards the shore, eyes darting left and right in rapid succession. The board came first, sliding up against the sand and Chanhee reached out, grabbing one of the fins and pulling it out of the water.

But the board wasn’t what he was worried about. He wasn’t sure why this stranger meant so much to him, maybe it was just his heart. His constant worrying for those around him. Chanhee spent so much time being looked after by everyone in his life, he sometimes felt he needed to repay that energy. Give it back to the universe.

Thankfully, no Coast Guard needed to be called. No diver search or story on the news. There was a breathy call of “Hey!” followed by several wet sounding coughs and Chanhee darted his eyes to where it was coming from. The redhead soaked to the bone and laughing through the clear tumble he just took.

“Oh, thank god. I saw you go under and got worried.”

The boy approached him, all smiles and seaweed, and Chanhee's already shortened breath seemed to give out on him completely.

From the sand, he was nothing more than a blip in the waves. A faceless stranger Chanhee was certain he would never see again.

Here, standing in front of him, he was like a god arising from the water that had just swallowed him whole. And maybe Chanhee was being a bit dramatic, seeing himself more like a main character in a film than a regular everyday human, but there was no other way to describe him.

“Good looking out. Thanks for catching my board. These things are fucking expensive.” He coughed out, plucking a seashell from his wetsuit.

“No worries. Are you alright? Do you need to sit down for a second? I have some water bottles in my bag if you want some. No salt.” Chanhee offered up with a smile that was blissfully returned.

“That would actually be great. I really wiped out in front of the right person.”

The right person is what Chanhee hoped he could become for more than just a moment. Thankfully, the universe received his energy and gave it back to him tenfold.

He learned that the boy’s name was Sunwoo and he’d been surfing since he could even walk. Their shared love of the ocean kept them talking together on the beach until the sun began to kiss the horizon, painting the sky with brilliant oranges and reds. That slowed them down, only for a moment.

Their numbers found homes in each other’s phones, Chanhee surprised to see the name pop up on the screen later that evening.

Sunwoo liked to talk on the phone, for far longer than most, and Chanhee didn’t mind in the slightest. The way he laughed that first night still left an ache in his stomach from time to time. There were thoughts, painful ones, lingering in the back of his mind but it was far too soon to give them attention, to feed them.

Chanhee never held onto too much hope when someone who made his heart race came into his life. He allowed himself only slivers of it, knowing what might be laying in wait ahead of them.

People would always tell him they would stay. They could handle it, swearing up and down that he was just another person, no different.

But he was different. And loving him wasn’t like loving just another person.

So, when the phone calls continued and Sunwoo became a regular visitor to his beach blanket spot, and when they began to have dinner together at the beach side restaurant after days of shell searching and surfing, Chanhee allowed himself to feed the thoughts.

Sunwoo never brought it up, probably feeling too awkward.

Chanhee had to take the first plunge.

He remembered the trembling in his voice when he said it.

“I’m not like you.”

He remembered the confidence in Sunwoo’s when he replied.

“I know.”

Sunwoo didn’t see Chanhee as broken. He never got annoyed when Chanhee’s pace was much slower than his own, always stopped with him when he needed to catch his breath. Their brief conversation sated each of them for a few months until one night, after Chanhee had met all of Sunwoo’s friends and they were decompressing on his couch.

He asked what exactly it was.

Chanhee spoke with his hands in his lap, eyes on the floor. He told him everything. About the days he couldn’t get out of bed, the multiple opinions telling him it was only going to get worse but there were only a few small things he could do to help the pain. About Sangyeon and Jaehyun, his roommates who often served more as caretakers than just friends. The large pills that would cause his eyes to water as he swallowed them.

Sunwoo listened, carefully and patiently.

Chanhee told him, and maybe just reminded himself, that it wasn’t all bad.

He got really good parking spots and could kill bugs easily with a quick snap of one of his canes. This cut the air, once thick and suffocating, and made them both laugh. They slipped into a silence after that, Sunwoo moving his body to be closer to Chanhee’s. At that moment, he felt like he was basking in the summer sun.

Sunwoo asked if there was anything he could do to help.

“Just stay.”

It was simple. As Chanhee always heard love should be.

Sunwoo stayed.

He became an integral part of Chanhee’s life, so much so that now Chanhee couldn’t picture it without him. He was almost brought to tears at times, once finding Sunwoo and Sangyeon in the kitchen discussing things Chanhee needed, his regular doctor’s appointment times, and how to handle some of his equipment.

In exchange for that, Sunwoo gave Sangyeon his schedule at the surf shop, agreeing to help whenever he could.

And help, he did. In more ways than just medical.

Chanhee’s doubts were a lot like the shoreline he’d grown so used to sitting down on. Eroding over time due to the crashing waves of Sunwoo’s love. He learned that he wasn’t a problem; He was a person worthy of so much more.

Jaehyun had warned him that this feeling might fade. He laughed about it over a glass of wine, saying that while he still loved Sangyeon more than anything, some nights he felt like he was on the brink of insanity. But that was love, Chanhee thought. It wasn’t perfect.

That was almost two years ago, now.

Chanhee had never seen the other side of perfection.

Especially not now, as Sunwoo was attempting to unload his old beat up van, kicking the trunk in hopes that it would get it to open. Chanhee watched with amused eyes from his wheelchair, chin resting in his palm and skin already slick with sweat from sitting in the sun.

Sunwoo had some choice words for the van, a puke green disgusting machine but the only handicap accessible one the two could afford.

The sentiment meant enough, really. Chanhee didn’t expect him to actually buy it.

“Ah ha! Finally.” Sunwoo breathed out as the trunk slowly opened, his surfboard barreling out and almost hitting him in the face, “Oh, you bitch. Just work with me here.”

“You and your ability to fight with inanimate objects never ceases to amaze me.”

“Everything is plotting against me, you know that.” With the bags all set, Sunwoo took a breath and turned to Chanhee, “You want to walk or should I make a couple trips?”

“I can walk. Are Joonyoung and Hyungseo already there?”

“They sure are. I think they also brought Youngjae and Juyeon along which is,” Sunwoo paused, giving Chanhee a look he knew all too well, “Great.”

“Leave them alone! They’re in the honeymoon phase. It’s cute.” Chanhee stood from his chair, Sunwoo quick to appear by his side with a hand under his arm. The chair was quickly replaced with Chanhee’s favorite cane, painted and decorated by the dynamic duo that was Hyungseo and Joonyoung after a night of too many beers and too little to do.

The flowers that climbed it were awkward and smudged in places, but Chanhee wouldn’t let it go no matter what.

“It’s disgusting. They’re obsessed with each other.”

“And you’re not obsessed with me?”

Sunwoo paused as he loaded the chair back into the van, “I am. But I don’t have to tell everyone about it!”

Chanhee just shook his head and chuckled in reply, knowing that deep down inside of him, Sunwoo was happy for his friends. He always was, no matter how he masked it with disgusted faces and loud noises of protest. Chanhee knew his heart, knew he wanted everyone around him to feel nothing short of pure bliss every moment of the day.

The walk to the beach was a quick one, Sunwoo grunting and groaning as he carried all the bags plus his board but refusing to let Chanhee help with any of it, and Chanhee awkwardly navigating the rickety wooden walkway.

Their friends came into view almost immediately, Youngjae being the first to greet them with a loud shout and the wave of both of his hands over his head.

Joonyoung jogged towards them, sunkissed and salty, taking some of the burden off of Sunwoo quickly.

“You guys need to invest in a wagon or something.”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Chanhee said into Joonyoung’s quick hug, “He swears he can handle it.”

“I can handle it, thank you very much.”

“Sure looks like it,” Hyungseo approached the group, “Wheezing like an old man. Give me this. Help your boyfriend, idiot.”

“What is this?” Sunwoo looked between his friends and then to Chanhee, “I don’t remember signing up for a roast session today?”

“It wasn’t on the schedule.” Chanhee shrugged, winking towards the other two. Joonyoung laughed at this, motioning back to the small group.

“Come on, we’ve been waiting for you guys.”

Chanhee was only able to take a few more steps in the sand before he started to wobble over, finding it difficult to find his balance amongst the dips and dives of the ever changing terrain. Sunwoo noticed, as he always did, and was swift to hike his bag up on his shoulder, scooping Chanhee up in a flash.

“You shouldn’t be walking on this shit anyway. The sand is hot as fuck today.”

Chanhee looped his arms around Sunwoo’s neck, humming gently, “You’re always so good with your words, my love.”

The group greeted them as they always did. Juyeon with a gentle smile and a hug to match, Youngjae with immediately berating them for being late paired with a harsh smack to Sunwoo’s back.

Sunwoo placed him down on the blanket, the sand underneath him molding around his body comfortably. It didn’t take long for Sunwoo to help finish setting up the umbrella, the cooler, the snacks, everything. Just as he always did. Hands in everything, ready to help.

“Who’s surfing?”

“Me!” Youngjae shot his hand up, nearly upper cutting Juyeon.

“Jesus. Watch out.” Juyeon grabbed the boy’s hand, pulling it down, “Me too.”

“You want me to stay up here with you for a little bit?” Sunwoo quietly asked Chanhee. He was quick to shake his head and wave a hand, knowing he’d been itching to surf just as all the boys that surrounded him were.

A hurricane had swept through the town and left the beaches inaccessible, Sunwoo becoming more like a puppy staring out the window at the ocean everyday he couldn’t be near it.

“You go ahead. I’ll be fine. Be safe, please.”

“Chanhee won’t save you this time!” Youngjae chided, earning a glare from Sunwoo.

“That was almost two years ago! And for the record,” He zipped up his wetsuit with aggression, “I saved myself.”

“You should be thankful for that potential drowning. Or else we’d still be listening to you lament about being single.” Hyungseo reached out and patted Chanhee’s head a few times, “Everyday we are thankful to you.”

Chanhee laughed as Sunwoo nearly blew his lid, going off on a tangent about how all anyone ever did was make fun of him, remind him of his emotional past. He didn’t mean any anger, everyone finding humor in his stomping away, board in hand, to the ocean. Youngjae and Juyeon were hot on his heels, Hyungseo in tow.

Joonyoung flopped down next to Chanhee with a sigh, stretching out his muscles.

“You’re not going?”

“I already surfed this morning. Hyungseo and I couldn’t sleep so we came here at daybreak. He ended up sleeping on the blanket.”

“That’s fun! I’ve always wanted to come here at daybreak but it’s hard. That’s like the most painful time of day.”

Joonyoung hummed at this, unknowingly sure, but understandingly, “How have you been doing, by the way? It’s been a while since I’ve been able to catch up with you.”

He hadn’t been great, truthfully. Between new medications and physical therapy, having to rely on his chair more and more with each passing day, he was equal parts exhausted and frustrated.

Chanhee loved his independence and was brought to tears on the days when he couldn’t lean on it. Sunwoo would have to help him in the bath, cook all of his meals, get him into and out of bed, do everything for not only Chanhee but also himself.

Chanhee supposed it was a bit easier when he lived with Sangyeon and Jaehyun, the two having each other to lean on when things got a bit too overwhelming. Sunwoo didn’t have that. It was just the two of them and Chanhee wondered if he ever felt like he was underwater again, unable to breathe.

Sunwoo would never tell him.

And that, perhaps, was the biggest problem.

Chanhee knew he could depend on Joonyoung, one of the kindest people he’d ever have the pleasure of knowing. So, capturing the moment of solitude between them, he decided to speak his mind.

“It’s been tough, honestly. I worry about Sunwoo.”

“You worry about him? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” Joonyoung smiled, meaning well. But that was exactly what Chanhee meant.

“He’s always worried about me. That’s the thing, you know? I’ve been in my own head a lot and I just get nervous, I guess. That maybe it’ll all be too much for him one day.”

Chanhee expected silence between them. Maybe Joonyoung taking some time to absorb his words, really think about them. But his reaction was surprising, a noise that was a mix between disbelief and shock.

“As if. Chanhee, I’m telling you this as one of his best friends, he’s one hundred percent in love with you. Always. I don’t think I ever told you this, but after you guys met, he came home that night and was all smiles. Like, ear to ear shit. It was gross!” They both found laughter in this, Chanhee’s eyes finding Sunwoo in the water. That same neon green board made him stick out like a sore thumb.

“Hyungseo and I talked about it that night, you know? We could hear him talking to you on the phone and he rolled over and said, “He’s going to fall in love with that boy.” I didn’t really buy it. Sunwoo was never really the fall in love type of guy. But you changed that. You’re the only one who’s been able to do that. That alone speaks volumes.”

Chanhee bit his lip at the confession of secrets, eyes stinging not from the salty air but from the salt that they were producing.

“Hyungseo really said that?”

Joonyoung scooted closer to him, bumping their shoulders together gently, “He did. And you know him. He’s all about that kind of stuff. Everyday when you guys would hang out and he’d come home, Hyungseo would be all over him. Questions left and right. He knew before Sunwoo even knew.”

“You don’t think he’ll ever get tired of me? Of all of this?”

“Never.” Joonyoung shook his head, eyes still trained on the horizon, “Relationships are hard. We all go through shit. You guys just happen to go through it more than most. But, you’re also two of the strongest people that I know. I can’t think of a more perfect person for him than you, and the same goes for you.”

Chanhee couldn’t help but allow a chuckle to escape, lifting up one hand to quickly wipe away a tear that managed to run down, “You always know what to say.”

“Well, I am incredibly brilliant.” He wiggled his eyebrows, leaning into Chanhee once again.

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

The two fell into their usual back and forth, playful jabs and more reassurance when Chanhee needed it. Hours ticked by, the boys in the ocean finally coming back to land to eat some food, Youngjae insisting he hit the best wave tricks of the day.

Juyeon quick to remind him that he also face planted onto his board at least three times. Chanhee might not have believed him if the marks on Youngjae’s face weren’t so glaringly obvious.

Sunwoo made himself comfortable, propping up his board as a backrest and stretching his legs out on either side of Chanhee. Quick to slide Chanhee’s body against his chest, he almost forgot that they were seated on the beach and not in their home.

“I got something for you.” Sunwoo spoke into his ear, a voice for only Chanhee to hear. He held his hand out, close fisted before opening it to reveal a purple marbled tulip shell, Chanhee’s favorite.

“Oh,” He was almost hesitant to touch it, the swirling beauty before him looking so fragile, “It’s beautiful, Sunwoo. Thank you.”

“I got knocked on my ass under there. Guess it was worth it. This thing popped right up in front of me.” He placed the shell in Chanhee’s bag, his hand returning to hold Chanhee’s. Their fingers intertwined and Sunwoo’s thumb moving back and forth over the visible veins that lined Chanhee’s delicate hand.

It was easy to feel safe here. Among friends, in the sand, wrapped in Sunwoo’s sticky salted arms. The sun was a much more comforting light than the hospital fluorescents Chanhee had become so accustomed to. He remembered Joonyoung’s words, sinking himself closer to Sunwoo’s chest so that he could feel the heartbeat on his back.

“We’re going to head to the crab shack,” Juyeon offered up, Chanhee finally focusing on the group around him to see that they were gathering their things, “You guys in?”

Sunwoo leaned forward a bit, looking down at Chanhee to gage his reaction. He didn’t verbalize but hoped that Sunwoo could read him well enough.

And of course, he could.

“We’re going to hang back. Meet you there in like thirty?”

“Deal! See you guys there. Don’t forget about us like last time. Hyungseo used that as an excuse to drink too much and I had to drag him home.” Joonyoung hit their backpack against Hyungseo’s chest, the other catching it with quick hands.

“Hey! They were having a drink special.”

“Any drink can be a drink special if you’ve got enough time.” Youngjae snapped his fingers, the entire group sharing a collective eye roll.

A few more sarcastic comments and drawn out goodbyes passed before Chanhee and Sunwoo were left alone, nothing but the waves before them.

It was comfortable like this. They didn’t need to speak, but Chanhee’s mind was still swirling.

“Can I ask you something?” He rested the back of his head against Sunwoo’s shoulder, Sunwoo leaning his own against him.

“Of course.”

Chanhee thought for a moment, finding his wording before taking a breath, “Do you ever wish things were different?”

Sunwoo shifted his body, breath hot against Chanhee’s ear as he took a few moment to answer. It was a loaded question, Chanhee knew that, but he needed to hear an answer. It was an untouched conversation, something he’d always been too scared to bring up.

He found solace in Joonyoung’s story to him but couldn’t help the dark cloud from coming over his mind. Chanhee knew he was difficult to be with, knew that this wasn’t easy for anyone around him. It affected Sunwoo, who would have to stay up with him late into the night when the pain in his legs rendered him sobbing on the bathroom floor.

It affected their friends, who would be waiting for them at bars and restaurants only for Chanhee to bail because he couldn’t bear to be out in public.

It affected Sangyeon and Jaehyun, who rearranged their entire lives to accommodate him. They didn’t admit it but he knew they were relieved when he and Sunwoo found their own place. They were able to live their lives now, happily and without burden.

Sunwoo finally cleared his throat, “I wish things were different for you. I know we don’t talk about it, maybe we should. I hate seeing you in pain and sometimes when I leave you alone in a bath or when you’re sleeping, I feel like crying.”

Chanhee almost spoke at the admission but Sunwoo just tightened his arms around him, affirming him he wasn’t finished. This was his time to speak, to let out everything that had been bottled up for so long.

“I know I can’t fix anything for you and that’s what kills me the most. I’ve never been in love before, you know that. I’ve never known this type of pain. Seeing someone I love so much fighting a war against their own body. It’s not fair. But for us, for me and you, I wouldn’t change that. You’ve made me a better person.”

Chanhee found his way out of the arms he never wanted to leave and turned around, facing Sunwoo. His hands cupped Sunwoo’s sunburned cheeks gently.

“How can I ever thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me? For everything that you will do for me?”

Sunwoo smiled at this, light refilling his eyes in the most beautiful way. The sight in front of Chanhee far outshined the ocean that was raging at his back, outdid any sunset they had ever sat and watched. Sunwoo kissed his palm, soft and sweet.

“Just stay.”

Yes, Chanhee thought, there really was something so magical about the beach.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks again! comments and kudos always appreciated. 
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/SOHNlSM)


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